Andrea R. Asks...

Q. 
As a mother and a woman in tech how did you manage it? Any advice for other women in similar situations?

A.
Thank you for your patience while I pondered on this one. I’ve written about 14 different versions of this since I received your email. :)

I’ve boiled my response into 5 bits of advice I’d offer, and while I’ll always have a soft-spot in my heart for moms-in-tech, I believe the reach of my response can really apply to anyone. I'm just another human being making my way in the world.

  1. Live below your means.

    This is financial advice more than anything. My parents raised me to “live within my means.” But I learned later in life, from the ever-awesome Suze Orman/@SuzeOrmanShow, that it’s even better to live below your means. Identify the bare bones of the cost of survival. Do whatever it takes to make that happen. Aim higher. It’s reasonable to live comfortably and have fun but be realistic with where you are and what you want. Most people fall into the ‘make more, spend more’ ritual. Who cares what other people are doing, do what's best for you and your family.

    I’m not *always* a master of this but I can tell you, the more I practice this, the more freedom I gift myself. And the more freedom I have, the more I want, and the easier living this philosophy becomes. I believe this is a really healthy cycle of habit.

  2. Work smarter and harder.

    Here’s another one of those old adage sorts of things, “work smarter, not harder.” For the first time in my life, the past two years have helped me feel like I totally get that. But I choose to interpret as, “work smarter and harder.”

    The value of hard work, and solid work ethic is something that I can't speak enough about. But in terms of working smarter, I have learned over many years to incorporate some seemingly basic things into practice    , that have improved my ability to spin a fair amount of plates. A few of these things are:

    • Make lists & prioritizing (daily)
    • Say NO
    • Learn how and what to let go of
    • Celebrate little accomplishments
    • Have confidence in self-value

    That last bullet there is possibly the biggest one.  

  3. Respect time.

    I accidentally wasted someone’s time earlier this year. He didn’t say anything or get mad at me, but I knew I did it and even though it genuinely was an accidental mis-scheduling of a seemingly simple 30 minutes. I still feel sick about it. 

    I have tremendous respect for time. Other people’s time, and my own time. And having respect for time causes me, in most instances, to be very careful in how I dole it out.

    I don’t plan out every minute (I hope to post a separate piece about over-scheduling, soon!) But I do make lists, and prioritize. I give freely of my time when I believe I can be of service to someone quickly and effectively. I bill for my time when I know it’s something that requires more effort. 

    But most importantly, I respect the hell out of time. And I appreciate others who do, too.

  4. Gratitude, not excuses.

    Be grateful, every day, for what you have. Think small, and think intricately about what is GOOD. If you do not have the flu today, be grateful. If you have a pair of shoes you can ably put on your feet, be grateful. If you are able to spend 30 seconds in deliberate silence, be grateful. I don't mean to make light of this, at all. In total seriousness, the routine of appreciating the details of every day can change everything.

    I think often we get caught in the undertow of what limits us. I’ve seen myself do it. From a gender perspective, certainly, I’ve felt held back at times. From a mom perspective, I’ve definitely thought about how much easier or less expensive things might be if I didn’t have kids, or if I had more help here or there. But instead of putting good energy into the obstacles, I’ve learned to shift the focus. I think it’s very good to identify obstacles and worst-case scenarios, but instead of saying, “I would but…” or “I can’t because…” I look for ways around. “I can’t because… but I could solve that by, a, b, or c.” 

    One of my biggest peeves is hearing, “I don’t have time.” We all have the same amount of time in a day, we just have different puzzle pieces to work with. Reconfigure those pieces until you find what works. No excuses.

    Identify what is important to you and make time for it. Even if it’s only two minutes per day. Start somewhere and find gratitude for folding that two minute thing into your life.

    Excuses are easy. Find gratitude, instead. You’ll be surprised at how this can shift your world.

  5. Be true to yourself. 
    This one is huge. And I'm going to continue working at this until I die. My dad was a pro at this but it took me a very long time to realize and appreciate it. 

I can feel it deeply when what I'm doing is not aligned with who I am. The most important lesson I've learned is when I feel something off, to take thoughtful stock then act swiftly. 
What I meant by thoughtful stock is, I think there's a period of time where we have an emotional response to something. That is a good thing. I usually split my emotional response into two waves:

I write it all out in a document to be shared with no one.

I wait until the emotion passes then rework the document OR I have a conversation with someone I trust, who can present an angle of grounded, non-emotional insight to the topic.

I believe very much in the honesty of the emotional response, but I am also a big believer in the progress to be made by rational response. It's something I still work to improve, but I think just being aware has helped me a lot.

For example, I may be in a job or relationship that feels off. My emotional response may be to get out quickly. By letting that soak a little, and allowing a rational response to weigh in, I can get a better handle on the position that is true to ME and the direction I want for my life.

There have been a number of life experiences that have brought me to those 5 items as being really useful bits of advice. Experiences of struggle and loss, feeling held back, overlooked, underestimated and completely misunderstood, interlaced with experiences of wonder, joy, freedom and all-out confidence. All 5 of these items are things I continue working on routinely. All in all, I want to be a better person. I want more out of this life. And there's a whole lot more out there to grab hold of. 

Andrea, I hope this offers some value. I would love to hear your thoughts in response, so please feel free to post as a comment or email me directly.  

With gratitude,

Jaimee

 

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Approx 15 people at the last 2 conferences I attended asked:

Q: So... What do you do now? Do you still design products?

A: Two part question with a two part answer.

PART I - WHAT DO I DO NOW?
I'm a Coach and Mentor. 

I've combined my 15+ years as a web and mobile experience designer with life-coach training into a practice focused on coaching and mentoring UX/Product/Creative/Dev and Executive teams. My clients are Fortune 100 companies, agencies and startups. I’ve worked with some of the world’s best and continue helping top teams grow stronger, happier and more efficient. 

My work also extends into individual-coaching engagements. Past and present clients include writers, developers, musicians, interior designers, UX practitioners and CEOs in pursuit of self-improvement and/or getting "un-stuck" personally and professionally.

The emphasis of my work, even when I was hands-on designing, is building empathy and personality into web and mobile app products. Emotional engagement and laser-like focus is my thing.

PART II - DO I STILL DESIGN PRODUCTS?
I'm not so hands-on anymore, now I help teams and individuals make better products. I do still work on my own personal projects and experiments.
Instead of hiring me to design a product for you, you hire me to help your already awesome team improve their UX and/or communication skills, or the strategy for your product. Or you hire me to assemble or build upon an awesome UX or Creative team, to create your awesome products. Or you hire me to help your engineers, marketers or business teams learn how to fold UX thinking into their regular work rhythms.

I stay on top of the latest Human Interface Guidelines and Material Design standards. I still get absolutely stoked when things like AppleWATCH and iPhone 6 get announced.  I have so much love for the devices we create for, and want to help keep your teams on top of the latest developments. I speak all over the world about how to capture your users attention, gaining their affection and winning their devotion.

You can check out my services page or contact me if you'd like to learn more, or discuss working together. <3

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Justin Asks...

Q:
I have no idea what "coaching" means. You just go to places and give a pep talk?

A:
I get this question a lot. I think just going places and giving a pep talk might be more like cheerleading. Which I am more than happy to do if anyone wishes to hire me for such a thing. Along the same line as, "What is coaching?" I also hear, "What’s the difference between a consultant and a coach?"

Here's the short answer: 

When I’m consulting, I’m helping a client create a product. It’s like, “Hey, I can fix/design that for you.” or “Let’s workshop this and solve some problems!”

When I’m coaching, I’m working with teams and/or individuals on the process of changing behaviors. We explore challenges and goals, and come up with the best choices for them based on where they are at and their vision for their future. I don't do the work for them, I guide, inspire, listen, encourage and advise.

My coaching in greater detail:

CORPORATE COACHING 
This service offering was born from the pretty standard UX consulting arrangement, which I still do offer. What I found time and again in most engagements was that there were deeper challenges to work through than just getting said product out the door. Communication challenges within teams, across teams and departments, there were challenges with processes and understanding, professional development challenges, team-cohesion challenges, and in many cases I’d end up addressing many of those challenges as a part of the engagement just to get to the actual consulting/product makin' part. And wouldn’t you know it, I LOVED the people part. Even more than making the products in most instances because I am genuinely interested in the health and well-being of the people making these products. I've been studying coaching for longer than most people realize, exactly because of my human interest and my desire to make business and products more "human." I think in our iOS world, folks think of me as "a designer." That's OK, but I've actually got a whole lot of other experience to offer.

I’ve heard different Chefs say that what you’re feeling, your mood and spirit, cooks right into the food you're making. The same applies to artists, designers and developers for the things we make. If the team making the products is not happy and healthy, the products will reflect that. Thusly, corporate coaching focuses toward building-up and strengthening teams, their communication, practices and behaviors. I offer tools, skills and perspective in addressing challenges and growing from them.

INDIVIDUAL COACHING
My coaching engagements are designed to help people create positive change and forward momentum in their lives. For some clients, the positive change they most want may be in the realm of personal goals such as financial management, time management, work-life balance, stress reduction, simplification, health, overall “Life Design” stuff.

Other clients may be more interested in professional or business goals such as developing a personal brand, improving leadership skills, getting a promotion, starting a business, charging more, etc. I work with my individual clients to help them live a better, richer life - regardless of their type of goals. 

Please let me know if this answered your question! And thank you for asking.  :)

Rachel S. Asks...

Q:
How do you make a living? Every time I see your Instagram and Twitter posts, it seems like you're always somewhere on vacation? How can you afford that?

A:
Awesome question and I actually appreciate it, because I didn’t realize it looked like I was always on vacation.

I am lucky enough to be an independent consultant and coach. Just because I'm traveling doesn't mean I'm not working. In fact, it probably means I am traveling because I'm working. 

And working independently, at least for me, has taken some practice. I suppose, if I can offer any insights, here are 7 things (Maybe we should call this, 7 things to make it seem like you live on vacation?):

1. Know what services you offer.
I make most of my income through coaching and consulting. It has taken me some work and rework, and redefinition to really be able to articulate my services clearly. But I’ve got a really solid set of coaching and consulting offerings now and I’ve been really lucky to stay busy. 

2. Have more than one revenue stream.
For me, supplementary income comes from a mixture of speaking engagements, writing articles or blog posts about things I've learned or can teach in UX, design, and fumbling through burnout and back again. All things I hope can save others from having to go through, or if they are "in it" on similar situations, maybe some good tricks for getting through. Oh, and the occasional selling of coffee stain art pieces. I've also considered offering rides to-and-from the airport for a small fee. :D


3. Have some savings.
You always hear, "Prepare for the unexpected." How much savings one needs really depends on your individual circumstances. I’m great at helping people figure out what those are, though!
I Like Suze Orman's advice, of 6-8 months living expenses in an emergency fund.
You want savings in case things get slow, or other awesome expenses crop up, like all of your 12 yr old appliances break down at the same time and each need full-on replacement AND your adventurous 5 yr old decides to jump off the big slide at school and needs stitches from an ER visit. These sorts of things are realities that happen to the best of us. The better prepared you can be, the easier negotiating a well designed life will go. 
My personal perspective on savings: "Having savings is giving yourself the gift of time." Feel free to pass that on. :D 

4. Constantly improve your self-discipline.
This line has come up about 6 times in the past two days for me, "A person that wants a thing will find a way; a person who doesn't will find an excuse."
Making sure whether at home, someone else’s office, at an airport or in a hotel, that actual work gets done for a minimum amount of time each day. I’m constantly working on improvements to my own productivity and I really feel like I’ve made a lot of progress that has stuck. I’ve started using the Pomodoro Timer app for Mac, and it’s been AWESOME for me. 

5. Have a Plan B.
This one is fairly straight-forward but seriously, have a Plan B. Outline what the worst case scenario looks like. Be really clear on what actions you can take, to not flounder or get stuck in a downward spiral. For me, my guide is my bank account balance. I have an amount that I live on, I know my monthly expenses to the penny and what effects spending over my defined budget will have on my timelines of comfort. I have built buffer for unexpected misc, and an amount that sends off the alerts to BUST A MOVE. And even if I hit bust-a-move mode, I still have some time before things get dire. And if things get dire, I list my house, and initiate: PLAN B. 

6. Make your mental/physical health a priority.
For me, the trick is really finding something that gets you into a rhythm that is repeatable. And I think that a huge part of self-discipline includes making time for healthy activity. It’s really been a struggle for me to come back to that one, but I feel really positive about the progress I’ve made in the last 3-4 months. And my brain feels the benefits.

I've always said this about living in Las Vegas, it's one of the easiest, cheapest places to get in and out of. Everything is about a 30-45 minute drive for me, many of the hiking/nature pics I post to Instagram are literally a 30 minute drive from my house, at either Mt. Charleston or Red Rock. When I’m home, I can carve out an hour and a half to go on a gorgeous hike, because it is important to me and the end-product of the work I do and the type of person I am/want to be. And if I simply cannot take that much time, there’s a 2 mile loop at a park that is a 3 minute drive from my house. I can knock that out in almost no time at all, right between dropping my kids at school or summer camp and making coffee.

7. Remain flexible.
This is in reference to as many things as you can make it apply, while still remaining clear on what you do and why. I offer a fairly defined list of services but I remain open to conversations about what people need or are looking for.  I like dialogue, if it gets us where we want to be.
I work within people’s budgets, I simply request knowing what the budget is, so that I can tailor services to match. 

I hope these answer your question and thank you again for asking! I’m not always on vacation but as an advocate for Life Design, I’m getting things figured out so that there’s not a lot of separation between work and life. It’s just… Life. And loving life. There are ups and downs, but you know what, I’m working hard to keep what I've got going, and growing!

<3